Getting Out of My Own Way

Theres this thing I continue to find a way to do. It creeps upon me in some of the best times with impeccable efficiency and in a variety of ways. Sometimes it’s due to an innocent feeling of self-doubt. Sometimes its entrance is bold, rooted in deceitful feelings of the need to escape. This thing knows hows to wait for the perfect opportunity to reveal itself. I have only now begun to realize how often I’ve welcomed it without a second thought. This thing is called Self-Sabotage.

When I decided to start this blog I wanted to make sure I didn’t omit the things and experiences that aren’t so pleasant. I want to be a help to those that may be going through the same things or may at some point start to go through them. Maybe you aren’t familiar with self-defeating, goal obliterating actions and thoughts. Maybe your life has always been and always will be like a well oiled machine running at optimum performance with no sign of strain. If so, more power to you, you are indeed a blessed individual. This post is for those who sometimes have a hard time getting out of their own way. It’s for those that feel like there’s this never-ending cycle of gaining enthusiasm, hope, and peace followed up with all the necessary action only to single handedly throw it all to the wind to get back to that oh so vigorously hated but often times longed for point of the known and comfortability. Self -sabotage can manifests itself in all kids of ways. It is a habit that can be so detrimental to so many areas of life. It’s an ultimate reason so many goals remain unattained, whether they be mental, spiritual, or physical. Self sabotage is a BEAST and we had best find ways to see it coming and put it in it’s proper place far, far, far, far away from our thoughts and actions. When I was younger self -sabotage was mostly things like partying the night before something important or completely blowing off anything that I felt presented a little more stress than I was willing to bear. As I get older it seems to be found in little instances that seem unimportant but ultimately are the exact thoughts and actions that will keep one in a miserable cycle of starting and stopping. It’s not making that phone call, or not completing that post because it feels a little to revealing or not finishing that flyer and putting it out because who wants to put out flyers and deal with the anxiety of answering that first call or worse yet, not get any response at all. It’s eating healthy and exercising all week only to eat enough for ten people on the weekends. I can’t fail to mention how it can wreak havoc on finances as well. Have you ever set a budget and followed it to the “T” for a great deal of time and just as you reach your goal you throw it all out of the window with one bad impulse purchase. The thing about self -sabotage is, it doesn’t really care how long you’ve worked on something. It doesn’t really care how much you think you want it. Self sabotage will take you out of the game before you even get started and it will also help you blow a 34 point lead in the fourth quarter. As I’ve thought about it and made the commitment to rid my life of this unnecessary weight I have come up with a few tools to help.

  1. Keep Your Goals Before You.      

Make sure to constantly read your goals and keep them on paper. Read them twice a day at the very least. There’s some truth to “Out of sight, Out of mind”. When we forget what we are working towards, it becomes much easier to get off track.

2. Don’t forget your blinders!

Don’t allow your mind to become bogged down with what’s going on around you. Life is tough enough without the added struggle of trying to figure out who’s thinking what and who’s motives and actions are a little suspect. When you begin to step out and move towards your dreams (or try to do anything positive for that matter) you will find that all kinds of mentally and emotionally perplexing things will come from all kinds of unexpected places and people. If you focus on these negatives you will miss out on the wonderful resources and support that’s right in front of you. Great things come from unexpected people and places too. In horse racing, blinders are used to keep the horse from looking sideways or behind. This keeps the horse focused on what’s most important, What’s Ahead. Give your time and attention to those things that grow you and you will be far less likely to self sabotage or should I say Self destruct. Stay focused on what’s ahead and you will find everything you need along the way.

3. Take A Break

Sometimes you just need to take a short break. Burnout is one of the biggest catalyst of self sabotage. When we fail to give ourselves a break or small rewards we can sometimes become like a ticking time bomb and at some point you’re gonna blow. A healthy mind requires balance. Don’t forget there’s a family that needs you and you also need you to be healthy. When things start to feel a little overwhelming or you inspiration seems to be lacking maybe it’s a break alert. Take it. Just make sure it’s not another case of Self Sabotage ;).

4. Have Some Plain Old Self Control 

There is very little that is worthwhile that can be accomplished without discipline and self control. I would be playing myself and you if I failed to mention that a lot of Self sabotage is rooted in momentary lapses in self control. It’s as simple as wanting to have fun. Or wanting that new gadget. The YOLO way of thinking has to be handled with care. It can very quickly become an excuse for making dumb decisions. In order to get where we’re trying to go there are going to have to be some sacrifices and by nature sacrifice requires giving up something. Sacrifice usually doesn’t feel good at the moment it’s given but it pays back with interest. So make sure to keep your thoughts and emotions under control and your actions will be sure to follow.

I hope these thoughts help someone as much as they’ve helped me and I’m really striving to make self sabotage a thing of my past. Life tends to bring all the external resistance we need. Let’s not add to it with problems of our own making. If you’ve made it this far thanks for reading and I’m about ready to ramp this DaddyBe thing up so look for more in the near future.


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