How’s that for a title? For a moment there I thought I would never get back to this blog. Life has a way of getting kind of full as far as time is concerned. Over the past few years time has been one of the things I have always felt seems to elude me. I have gotten to a point where I am using my time better than I ever have but I have noticed, the more I pay attention to how I use time the more I have to be sure to maintain a healthy balance. It becomes very easy to get frustrated when you feel things are of track, or to become angry when things aren’t working out exactly the way you planned them. I recently had to check myself because for a few days it felt like I wasn’t getting anything done when I wanted to get them done and it began to irk me to my core. I began to think to myself why even try, this is near impossible, maybe the things I am pursuing now aren’t what I really want. Maybe that’s why things aren’t happening perfectly. Fortunately, as has been happening a lot lately, I took the time to still myself and look at how I was feeling and why without overthinking it and without judgement. For those that are familiar with meditation you will know exactly where I am going with this for those that have never given it a try please know it can work wonders for the rambling mind. Since starting to meditate regularly (and I’m only talking about the last couple of weeks or so) I have really noticed a change in how I move and think during the day. It hasn’t meant that I don’t get upset or anxious but it has made the difference in me not remaining in negative feelings for long. One of the most powerful things I realized this past week came after a brief moment of meditation. Before I get into the meat of what I want to convey in this post let me start with this story. This Thursday our youngest daughter Isabella developed a scary cough out of nowhere so when we woke up Friday morning my wife (with that Mother’s Intuition that tends to always be right) says to me I think we may need to get Isabella to the Dr. before the start of the weekend. My wife had management training that she needed to attend, and she had already taken off to take our daughter to a well visit just two days before. Immediately my mind begins to race. I’m thinking to myself and out loud we just took her to the Dr. Wednesday she couldn’t possibly be that sick. I began to think about the cost of another copay and the fact that I had four containers coming in at work with a bunch of new guys currently being trained, I began to think I have to be at work today it’s too busy to miss I have to be their. I began to allow myself to believe that missing work would be a reflection on my character and my dedication to the job. The thing is, I work for a great company so me feeling this way wasn’t necessary at all. I thought about the two bills we had just gotten. One for a well visit that wasn’t covered and one for a swab test that insurance didn’t cover at all (and this was for something I was thinking should be simple and inexpensive but the bill was for $300). As shameful as it is to think about these are the things that were going through my head, I was allowing my need to be in control, my need to feel like I am doing nothing to put my job in jeopardy, my notion that we’ve spent enough on healthcare this week and this month for that matter to cloud how I responded to my wife’s simple request. True enough, I am of the let your body try and heal itself first team. I tend to want to wait a few days before submitting to having me or my children treated with antibiotics and my wife doesn’t have a problem with this at all she for the most part thinks the same way even more reason I shouldn’t have second guessed her decision for one second. …………. 5 days later………. (the Strep and Flu situation that inspired this post kind of swept through the house). I’m finally back in the saddle and I am determined to finish this post. So on that morning the meditating I had been doing caused me to really put my mind in check. I took a deep breath and came to the realization that worrying about last week and a couple days before really had nothing to do with what was going on in the present. Trying to speculate about how what was happening in the present was going to affect the rest of the day or the days to come wasn’t the best use of the time or energy either. Once I made peace with and let go of my frustration I called my job and explained that I needed to take my Daughter to the Dr. and I set my actions towards doing what needed to be done that very moment, getting my daughter better. The instant I changed my state of mind everything about this perceived problem changed for the better. With my initial state of mind this trip to the Dr. was possibly an unnecessary visit that is going to cost us I don’t know how much. Now it was an opportunity to spend some extra time with my daughter with my daughter during a time I wouldn’t normally get to. I even knocked out a portion of those surprise bills we got the week before with a smile while there. We got there at eight and the assistant working the desk explained they had a full schedule and probably wouldn’t be able to get us back till around 10:30. With my initial way of thinking I would have been agitated with the fact that I wasn’t going to be getting to work very soon, but I received the news with a smile and found the prospect of waiting with my daughter to be a chance to relax while getting to the bottom of that horrible cough. Isabella was sick but she was still her happy, playful self so that made it that much more pleasant. By 9:00 we were back to see the Dr. and we found out Baby Izzy had both the flu and strep. Due to the fact that we got her there at the onset of the symptoms the prescription would have a much better chance of decreasing the amount of time she would be sick and greatly reduce the severity of the sypmtoms she could have possibly experienced if we would have waited till the following Monday to get her to the doctor’s office. I went through that long drawn out story to get to this point. Life has it’s twists and turns. It has it’s boredoms and surprises. There’s gonna be times when everything goes according to plans and there will be times when everything seems to be going to hell. If you are living in and on your purpose sometimes you just have to learn to take life as it comes and I’m not talking about living with an attitude of indifference. I’m talking about not allowing the things that we can’t control to take us over the edge. This experience affirmed something for me. It made me really notice how even the things that aren’t great have a way of helping us sometimes we just need to slow down and take life as it comes. Sometimes if we just go with the flow we end up being where we need to be when we need to be there. After we left the Dr. and got Isabella the medecine she needed it was like she was never sick and I was so grateful that my wife made the decision that she did. She had the awareness that a Mother has and I could have very easily made that gift useless by overthinking the situation and granting importance to the most irrelevant factors. Isabella got better and although Isabella was the only one with the flu, colds and Strep proceeded to pass between everyone in the house. The results that moving with a clear and present mind delivered really resonated with me this time for some reason and I’ve decided to hold on to this state of mind for as long as I possibly can because the days since have been wonderful. Although to some, this story may seem like a little much made out of nothing but I am starting to realize that sometimes the most profound breakthroughs can be presented in some of the most seemingly insignificant ways. You just have to remain open and diligent in seeking growth. We can’t control everything sometimes things will come up. when you have a family it is impossible to have a schedule set in stone. When life sends you those curves you can’t control just go with it with a clear, present mind. just move with purposeful intentions and I guarantee after it’s all said and done you will end up right where you need to be.If you’ve made it to this point thanks for reading.
Til Next Time…….. DaddyBe